No Kindle Do

Things you can't do with a Kindle

We've been thinking, and we have found there are some things you really can't do with a Kindle, where a paperback or a hardback will only do the job.  Contributions welcome. 

Kathleen Beller and Carol Cameron at The Aldeburgh Bookshop propose that you can't ...

- squash a mosquito

- press a flower (War and Peace)

- hold a door open (Love and Fate)

- give it to a two year old

- have it signed by the author

- read inscriptions from your grandparents

- hide love letters in it (anywhere beyond Chapter One of A Brief History of Time)

- have a coffee table edition

- use four to hold down the corners of the beach blanket

- practice your deportment

- lend it to a friend

- see the price from 100 years ago

- smell it

- enjoy the illustrations

- wrap a digital download to give as a gift

- use a book mark in it

- leave it open on your face to keep the sun out of your eyes while napping by the pool

- take it to a charity shop once you're done

- take it in your bath

- rescue it with a hairdryer when it falls in your bath

- know what page you're on

- safely use in the kitchen

- use it to add colour to a room

- use lots of them to insulate your walls

- impress bystanders with your choice of reading

- judge the book by its cover

- use it to strike up a conversation

- throw the book at someone

- do things by the book

- read it from cover to cover

- surround yourself with them

- you cannot light a fire with a kindle

Oliver Morgan, author, has suggested the following with suggestions as to which title should be specifically used

- use as ping pong bat (hymn book)
- stand in front of to look clever in photos (OED, Proust)
- tear in half to demonstrate strength (phone book)
- throw across room in exasperation (Ulysses)
- wait for paperback to come out (-)
- get Kirsty to allow on Desert Island (Bible, Shakespeare)
- make special building for (Bodleian Library)
- write shopping list on inside cover of
- lend
- dog ear

 

 

 

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